nice quote that I made on relationships

but just remember to not put too much on where it can go but rather where we ARE going

a poem I made on the fly for a sad person

when I think of thee, and you yearning for me I see a sea, a sea of dreams.
as I dream of thee, to be with me, together, forever, still unknown but heart felt more

It was gonna be a joke going into blood ocean.. from dethkloc
but I kinda just went with it and it sounded sweet and I didnt feel like messing it up

I was looking up prokaryotic bacteria cells and found binary fission. Ive always known about it but didnt know what it was called. these.. prokaryotic bacteria cells are fascinating to me. I would like to engineer some bacteria cells sometime for some beneficial purpose. seems like it would be a amazing thing to do.. create and design life

donate.. to me

interesting chat

şταrvinġ τọ ßė şαfε: alexis got me up at 6am
Dolphins "Я" Us: Ohh that sucks. I'ma sleep soon too.
Dolphins "Я" Us: Adam! <3333333333
lovesJarod: <33
Dolphins "Я" Us: Is Jen at work?
şταrvinġ τọ ßė şαfε: yeah
Dolphins "Я" Us: Be back in a half hour or so. Gonna eat breakfast and wash my work clothes.
ashleydanielle_: hey everyone.
ashleydanielle_: Good Lord, everyone's sleeping on their webcam lol.
* drewschkelton joined the room.
drewschkelton: lol right?!
drewschkelton: its the oh look at me sleep channel
ashleydanielle_: Lol.
ashleydanielle_: Whats up drew?
drewschkelton: sleepin
drewschkelton: my nips look huge on cap
drewschkelton: cam
drewschkelton: you liek?
ashleydanielle_: Lol you look awake to me.
ashleydanielle_: ROFL that was random!
drewschkelton: lol yeah
ashleydanielle_: So your name is Drew right? lol.
drewschkelton: yeah... well andrew
ashleydanielle_: Cool. Are you gay or bi?
* hornii15musa joined the room.
drewschkelton: bi
drewschkelton: but mostly on the gay side
drewschkelton: how about yourself?
ashleydanielle_: Oh. I'm bi.
drewschkelton: nice
ashleydanielle_: Yup.
drewschkelton: you should join us on cam
* gemma009 joined the room.
drewschkelton: welcome
* gemma009 left the room.
* jat822001 joined the room.
ashleydanielle_: There you go Drew...I look like a mess.
drewschkelton: ya got bed head but so do i =D
ashleydanielle_: Lol yeah I do...
ashleydanielle_: Morning Amber. lol.
şταrvinġ τọ ßė şαfε: my bestie awake?~
şταrvinġ τọ ßė şαfε: ?!
şταrvinġ τọ ßė şαfε: *hugs my best*
╠ ǎΜβεŕ λ ΣVΣŘ ╣: yeah
ashleydanielle_: She kinda is I think lol.
╠ ǎΜβεŕ λ ΣVΣŘ ╣: *hug*
ashleydanielle_: I'm not gonna be on much longer.
╠ ǎΜβεŕ λ ΣVΣŘ ╣: ADAM <333
lovesJarod: <333
ashleydanielle_: Morning Adam lol.
lovesJarod: hi ash morning
ashleydanielle_: How are ya?
* jat822001 left the room.
* ashleydanielle_ left the room.
* no name joined the room.
no name: mornig people-
no name: sp?
no name: sup*?
* hotbunny56 joined the room.
* hotbunny56 left the room.
* yariveffie joined the room.
drewschkelton: nothin much
Dolphins "Я" Us: Amber! <33333333
drewschkelton: chillin chillin
╠ ǎΜβεŕ λ ΣVΣŘ ╣: michael <33333333333333
no name: uhmmm
* yariveffie left the room.
Dolphins "Я" Us: Goodnight. :)
no name: good night?
╠ ǎΜβεŕ λ ΣVΣŘ ╣: goodnight michael
şταrvinġ τọ ßė şαfε: drew, u looked like u were blow jobbing something.
şταrvinġ τọ ßė şαfε: night michael. sleep well.
drewschkelton: lol
Dolphins "Я" Us: Yes. I've been up since 2:00
Dolphins "Я" Us: Ty
* no name left the room.
şταrvinġ τọ ßė şαfε: how do u fel best?
╠ ǎΜβεŕ λ ΣVΣŘ ╣: hungry
şταrvinġ τọ ßė şαfε: ,me too
şταrvinġ τọ ßė şαfε: but alex wont let me eat yet lol
╠ ǎΜβεŕ λ ΣVΣŘ ╣: it makes me laugh when i hear that a 2 year old runs ur life
şταrvinġ τọ ßė şαfε: i know@!!
şταrvinġ τọ ßė şαfε: it wakes up the whole house
* hornii15musa left the room.
şταrvinġ τọ ßė şαfε: even in the morning after jen gets hyer ready for work
* hornii15musa joined the room.
şταrvinġ τọ ßė şαfε: look how close they are to the tv
╠ ǎΜβεŕ λ ΣVΣŘ ╣: video laggggggg
drewschkelton: LOLwtf
drewschkelton: get them away from that
╠ ǎΜβεŕ λ ΣVΣŘ ╣: i'll see it sooner or later
Dolphins "Я" Us: Holy shit.
Dolphins "Я" Us: Why does anyone need to be that close?
şταrvinġ τọ ßė şαfε: look at them dance
drewschkelton: omg
╠ ǎΜβεŕ λ ΣVΣŘ ╣: awww
şταrvinġ τọ ßė şαfε: yay for 2yr olds haha
şταrvinġ τọ ßė şαfε: i just asked forest "i wonder what they see twhen theyre that close"
╠ ǎΜβεŕ λ ΣVΣŘ ╣: i redocked so i missed how close they were to te tv but i can only assume from pass experiences they were close
drewschkelton: I want kids so bad! .. shitty thing about being gay
şταrvinġ τọ ßė şαfε: they prolly like the colors.
şταrvinġ τọ ßė şαfε: one is my girlfriend's daughter
şταrvinġ τọ ßė şαfε: and the other is our room mates daughter
şταrvinġ τọ ßė şαfε: yaaay amber u get to help me take care of them in feb lol
drewschkelton: ah
╠ ǎΜβεŕ λ ΣVΣŘ ╣: ohhh yay so excited
şταrvinġ τọ ßė şαfε: adreanna is adorable.. alex is just something else.
hornii15musa: any guys wanna talk?
şταrvinġ τọ ßė şαfε: you plan on having kids drew?
╠ ǎΜβεŕ λ ΣVΣŘ ╣: hahaha
drewschkelton: hell yeah
şταrvinġ τọ ßė şαfε: me too. i told jen "i want a kid"
şταrvinġ τọ ßė şαfε: and she said "i better know way ahead of time before u make one"
şταrvinġ τọ ßė şαfε: "esp if im in germany, ill be pissed"
╠ ǎΜβεŕ λ ΣVΣŘ ╣: hahaha
* hornii15musa left the room.
şταrvinġ τọ ßė şαfε: u should hear age ay "shots shots shots everyboddddyyyy"
şταrvinġ τọ ßė şαfε: wait. watch them drop it low
drewschkelton: rofl!
şταrvinġ τọ ßė şαfε: g at&t
şταrvinġ τọ ßė şαfε: tv got attention
drewschkelton: see kids are cute when they are like that.. its when they are not ....
şταrvinġ τọ ßė şαfε: oh jen's daughter is trouble..
* chevylover1001 joined the room.
şταrvinġ τọ ßė şαfε: reason why we didnt take her bowling last night. coz she's in everyone's lane
drewschkelton: I bet .. they look like a handful
drewschkelton: lol
şταrvinġ τọ ßė şαfε: theyre amazing though
* chevylover1001 left the room.
drewschkelton: she's a mavric
* sissy1235 joined the room.
sissy1235: hey
drewschkelton: she's hating on me!!
şταrvinġ τọ ßė şαfε: lol
╠ ǎΜβεŕ λ ΣVΣŘ ╣: im prolly gonna fall back asleep best for a lil longer
* sissy1235 left the room.
şταrvinġ τọ ßė şαfε: shes upset lol
şταrvinġ τọ ßė şαfε: ok best go fr it. mute me.. alex might yell. lol
Dolphins "Я" Us: Brb. Needa restart my comp for some stupid updates and then I'm officially gonna sleep.
* Dolphins "Я" Us left the room.
drewschkelton: ok dolhins r us guy.. take care
╠ ǎΜβεŕ λ ΣVΣŘ ╣: i odnt think i hit 8 hours yet so i need one or two more
╠ ǎΜβεŕ λ ΣVΣŘ ╣: according to aim i need 2 more
şταrvinġ τọ ßė şαfε: :okie best. sleep well *hugs*
şταrvinġ τọ ßė şαfε: so drew. are u a psycho/creeper on here or are u "real"? lol
drewschkelton: take care amber
╠ ǎΜβεŕ λ ΣVΣŘ ╣: hug <3 u
şταrvinġ τọ ßė şαfε: <3 u too best
drewschkelton: im real
şταrvinġ τọ ßė şαfε: what are u blowing on thten? lol
drewschkelton: a bong but Idont want t o soke in front of the kids
drewschkelton: see im that real
╠ ǎΜβεŕ λ ΣVΣŘ ╣: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
╠ ǎΜβεŕ λ ΣVΣŘ ╣: best u make me laugh
şταrvinġ τọ ßė şαfε: a bong.. this early? lol
* jdiduque joined the room.
drewschkelton: hell yeah wake and bake
şταrvinġ τọ ßė şαfε: haha i dont wanna befriend a creeper thats wqhy lol
drewschkelton: actually I woke up at 5 am all sick and shit.. so I made some tea and hit the bong thinking I would sleep
drewschkelton: but I stayed up.. chillin and realaxing
şταrvinġ τọ ßė şαfε: ah icic
drewschkelton: ah
drewschkelton: no .. Im not creeper.
şταrvinġ τọ ßė şαfε: i usually just "wang" then fall back assleep. haha
şταrvinġ τọ ßė şαfε: if my best reads that
* jdiduque left the room.
şταrvinġ τọ ßė şαfε: hshe'll prolly giggle
drewschkelton: whats wang?
şταrvinġ τọ ßė şαfε: take a wild guesss haha
╠ ǎΜβεŕ λ ΣVΣŘ ╣: hahaha i do that too except for days like today
drewschkelton: dwhat
drewschkelton: I think I know but could you spell it out?
╠ ǎΜβεŕ λ ΣVΣŘ ╣: i wanged last night
şταrvinġ τọ ßė şαfε: take a guess ill tell u if ur right. and best go night night
şταrvinġ τọ ßė şαfε: i wanged yesterday morning since jen kept touching me while i was sleeping but she suppoedly doensnt remember
şταrvinġ τọ ßė şαfε: soo.. i had to wang =/
* no name joined the room.
╠ ǎΜβεŕ λ ΣVΣŘ ╣: i think its funny u stil have to wang even while LIVING with jen
* no name left the room.
drewschkelton: oh I C
şταrvinġ τọ ßė şαfε: she likes to tease me!
şταrvinġ τọ ßė şαfε: and omg last night was funny..
şταrvinġ τọ ßė şαfε: causei was trying to sleep.. and then she elbowed my eye..
şταrvinġ τọ ßė şαfε: then i woke up HONY
şταrvinġ τọ ßė şαfε: soo.. i was like teasing.. and then she said "baby... i have work tomorrow"
şταrvinġ τọ ßė şαfε: and i said "plssss can i have u" but i said it in a baby voice. hahahaha
* Dolphins "Я" Us joined the room.
╠ ǎΜβεŕ λ ΣVΣŘ ╣: so is like elbowing ur eye a turn on for you?!?
şταrvinġ τọ ßė şαfε: well i woke up from a dream im guessing hahaha
drewschkelton: I love it ^^
şταrvinġ τọ ßė şαfε: thennn.. yea. then we went back to sleep lol
şταrvinġ τọ ßė şαfε: best stop reading coz you wont be able to sleep
şταrvinġ τọ ßė şαfε: my stories are just entertaining lol
Dolphins "Я" Us: *elbows Air in the eye*
╠ ǎΜβεŕ λ ΣVΣŘ ╣: they are so just stop telling ones i havent heard
şταrvinġ τọ ßė şαfε: michael.. u want me to go down on u huh?
╠ ǎΜβεŕ λ ΣVΣŘ ╣: talk about that "ewww" girl so i can not want to read
şταrvinġ τọ ßė şαfε: coz thats what jen got when she elbowed my eye hahaha
Dolphins "Я" Us: Hell yeah baby! :P
drewschkelton: lol
şταrvinġ τọ ßė şαfε: i may be with agirl.. but ive given a guy head before
şταrvinġ τọ ßė şαfε: wasnt the greatest thing ijn the world.. but ill make an exception for u michael
Dolphins "Я" Us: Mmmmh. Hot.
Dolphins "Я" Us: *elbows Air harder*
şταrvinġ τọ ßė şαfε: hahahahaha
şταrvinġ τọ ßė şαfε: go to sleep michael. go cuddle with amber
Dolphins "Я" Us: Ok!
şταrvinġ τọ ßė şαfε: and adam
şταrvinġ τọ ßė şαfε: and corey lol
şταrvinġ τọ ßė şαfε: a sleeping orgy just like what happened with me and jen. asleep then bam got elbowed and u knowthe rest
╠ ǎΜβεŕ λ ΣVΣŘ ╣: michael come cuddle with
Dolphins "Я" Us: If I wake up with my pants wet I'll know I accidentally elbowed you in my sleep.
şταrvinġ τọ ßė şαfε: she still has to return the favor though =/ or i might be wanging later.
şταrvinġ τọ ßė şαfε: i woke up at 6.. i have to be up til 3am later =/
şταrvinġ τọ ßė şαfε: jen's on call.. -_-
Dolphins "Я" Us: *cuddles with Amber*
Dolphins "Я" Us: Damn that sucks
Dolphins "Я" Us: Come sleep with us Air!
╠ ǎΜβεŕ λ ΣVΣŘ ╣: doesnt mean u have to be awake til 3
şταrvinġ τọ ßė şαfε: prolly card games again
şταrvinġ τọ ßė şαfε: well usually.. cause she cdant stay up. and if her phone rings she needs to be up for it. and i know shes tired from work.
şταrvinġ τọ ßė şαfε: ok go to sleep best. ill eat then cuddle.
şταrvinġ τọ ßė şαfε: i would say "go to sleep east coasters"
şταrvinġ τọ ßė şαfε: but now im here too. lol
╠ ǎΜβεŕ λ ΣVΣŘ ╣: haha no best we cant cuddle until i'm there
şταrvinġ τọ ßė şαfε: *hugs amber and michael*
╠ ǎΜβεŕ λ ΣVΣŘ ╣: HUG .... and a real one like a month....
şταrvinġ τọ ßė şαfε: :]
Dolphins "Я" Us: :)
╠ ǎΜβεŕ λ ΣVΣŘ ╣: seems so far away

early morning thinking

IM involved with alot of adult things.. like it never really hit me. Love- for all but Im looking for a life together with someone..fixing real problems i the world... I should be getting high and doing coke with my friends but no.. I choose to endure and live a life that Ifind meaningful.. I every once in awhile I get flashbacks to old memorys.. as if I am there I feel the mood and see the picture.. even hear it. not audibly but as a deeply detailed memory. and I see my life. just as it was. the simple things which brought me such joy. but now.. anguish.. but I endure because I find it meaningful. that Ican really do something good in the world.. will I be able to look back and know that I have not wasted it? I miss the simple things..
as I lie in bed my blue woven cotton blanket embracing me keeping me from going astray I hear the radio softly playing some nice indie tune with the birds in the plum tree as chorus. the rustling hum of the heater billowing warmth before it turning off from being too hot. my crimson red curtains blocking off the sun from view with only a tease of light peering through.
eyes half opened reluctant to make any movement I sleepily gazed at my new room. beside me I felt duke curl up beside me to wake me up.. I liked that memory.. but it passed like childhood dream, without smiling or feeling sad I feel myself alone.. the music enhancing the silence of the room.. the place does not smell of dukes death anymore... the stillness is conforting.. like a new house ready to be lived in.. ready for new life...
buzzruzzerugherugh erugh.. the heating went on.
I roll my eyes looking across the room, the sun streaking through the curtains, they glow with a familiar angle of a old friend captured in stillness.
my body felt big to me. arms lanky and thick, strong. Ive lost perspective of my body, sometimes its weird seeing your own body without seeing it in a mirror. reminds you that your there. that this is real, and that ive got to get up... but this bed feels great...damn ive got to go pee again..

discoery of a new guilty pleasure

Ive just had so much fun.. im so amazed!
while watching bring it on I decided to start dancing with the main character when she first trys out for her new school team. I copied her and found a grove, I started having lots of fun! I like what it feels like to move. I want to learn how to dance! I really think show buisness is for me.

before I said I wanted to move to california and become a movie star.. I want to act and be involved in the arts... anyways.. I was watching bring it on and it came to my immediate attention that I want a daughter.. I wish I could get rich and raise a daughter in california. I think about it everytime I see one of these sunshine state sweethearts.

motivated me to work a lot harder.

polyamerous relationship

I want this type of relationship.. I want a family, children.. but I want to be with a man..

first poem

I was reading some poems online which I was very impressed upon reading.
I got into poetry because I wanted to make a song to sing and I didnt know how to write lyrics.
so I decided to just make a poem.. Sara Teasdale really inspired me.. her poems are amazing.

so here is the begining... I thought it was lame at first cause I just put up buzz words.. but it actually sounds ok! so I thought to myself... this is so easy! I could totally make a poem! god knows that I have enough creative emotions in me.

till the day comes to pass
when day turns to night
thine twilight moves to pose
of yester years midnight

aloft with bitter-sweet regret
love lost but never forget

So im gonna post all of my old journal entries... I know that most of my post are pointless and they are just reminders for me but I think I should just post them up.

while I was posting them up I wondered how many words did I write here..

looks like I am around 50,000 words, more or less...

thats a fucking book.
A BOOK!

I WROTE A BOOK !!!

lol if I wanted to I could have...
I would just write a entry everytime I had something to say or what I thought I should remember...
im a little impressed.. amazing what you can do when you just take it one step at a time..
I could be a good writer... I have fantastic imagination and im very creative...

WOOT 100 POST !!!! YEAH!!!

andrew takes a bow*
thankyou thankyou

ok anyways.

I was feeling really blue, both about being alone and how things have changed in the past year, and also on the situation in haiti where the UN decided to take out doctors from hospitols due to hostile conditions....
horrible horrible tragedy..
so I took a bath.. I have not had one for atleast a year. probably longer than that. I needed a shower but thought I would take a bath..
anyways I made some food, tea, got my candles, incense, pipe, and made my way to the bathroom. I cleaned out the tub and filled the tub.

the bath felt great.. very relaxing.. in fact right now Im almost asleep

while taking a bath I took my crystal in the water. I did my usual sensing that I do above water with my hand. I wanted to see if the sensation I felt was from air resistance.. I found that it however is not.. I could feel it underwater along with the sensation of water. as if the edges had been softened. the sensation of feeling energy is in fact real. other people feel it too. this is a shared stimuli.

I knew that what I felt was real.. along with lots of other things that I felt were real.

ive known that the things I saw were real.. and now I want to say, amazing.

it makes me sad that I have no one to tell my story to.. it really has been amazing..

right now in my life, I am going through a phase where I am reflecting upon all the things that I went through last year and the things I promised to myself.. now I am turning away and realizing life.. wise or stupid? I will have to see for myself.

ive been expanding my dreams in the past few days, I htink it may have to do with the recent eclipse.
I want to workout... I wanna look like brock lesnar.. ha.
I want to go to college and get a good education so I can make lots of money.
I want to experience the finer things in life.
I want to be popular and loved.
I want a car

my numberology senses are tingling

ok on numerous occasions this guy has called on astrological times.. or when I needed someone to talk to he has been there.. not for me but when I needed someone he called... kinda like fate..

anyways we are not having the best relationship... mostly on my part... but on his because he makes me feel like i am being interogated.
i'm glad to hear from you but frustrated that i can never meet or at least talk/fone with you.... and doesn't seem that we are making any progress

1/11/10 at 6:54 PM

rats...

a new word that I learned..

Limerence

Ive harbored this emotion for a very long time. I had limerence of love that I dont beleive exist in this world... so I thought to myself... I would get off this rock and find it... I knew it exist.. I just need to get there.. I have the knowledge to actually do it some day... but for now its out of reach..
but I still organized myself towards this goal while in actuality I should have pursued a love life closer to earth..

now that I am reading about this emotion I am better able to identify and fix this problem. there is nothing wrong with intense emotions, but when they become unreasonable and stop you from acheiving and even doing things in life is where it becomes a problem.

I woke this morning with vigor and resolve. took a hot shower then put in on cold and cooled my body down. It gave me a great energy boost. before I went to sleep I took my meds and vitamins and now my body is ready to work and think.
Ive been regaining my motivation for life and over the past few days Ive been growing into a adult that wants to live his life by his rules.
im sad that I am not out saving the world lol, but I put so much expectations on myself that I began to shut down.
I need to go to college and get a good education. I need to make lots of money. I want the finer things in life. I still want to help and make a difference in the world but atm I want all that life has to offer. Ive always had a expensive taste.. its time I found a way to support my habbit of buying what I cannot afford.

my dad has been asking me to look for a car.. I cant get a license or anything.. and cars have never been on my mind.. there has been very few cars that have caught my attention.
I found the car that I want..
I want a Lamborghini

....

yeah I know... expensive... definitely not a first car but I will not be satisfied until I own one.
their symbol is of my favorite power animal. I love bulls. infatuated with them and mythology of them.

I love the contour and power that lamborghini expresses in their vehicles

when I see a lamborghini I am pretty much turned on by how it looks. I imagine the contour of air around it as it speeds off. lamborghini has continually made cars of which I can personify as myself.

people say that guys buy expensive cars cause they are making up for their penis size or something... no this car would be only for myself... I like to use things that make me smile.. Im well endowed and I think I look fabulous.

favorite new movies

noriega: god's favorite

young guns 2

man I cant wait for the history and popculture books for the 2100 crowd. seriously there is history going on in the internet. huge social movements. its pretty fascinating actually. what got me thinking about this was the battle going on between the church of scientology and the anon group that is trying to spread the news on scientology to end it./

its cool

moral orel startleization

I was watching moral orel and I was amazed at the episode I watched..

the boy got a dog, who tried to name itself jesus by barking the name but they called him bytholumule some christian name. anyways, the dog was like my dog in that he was a saint. duke saved my life, its something you couldnt understand. anyways it was kinda the same cause the people ended up killing the dog and so did I ... not dirrectly but still.
I have not mentioned this but Duke's name before was JC...... yeah JC
thats why I made the connection... not cause the dog was supposed to be great...
there was something about duke.. he was not a normal dog.
I mean cmon

ou have entered Chat Lobby.

[drewschkelton] ok

[Rysuko] Welcome back

[Rysuko] did you catch my last messages?

[drewschkelton] yep

[Rysuko] alright

[Rysuko]

[drewschkelton] I feel a happy and excited atmosphere

[drewschkelton] vast but not white

[drewschkelton] nothing at all just there full of buzzing

[Rysuko] the room is buzzing?

[drewschkelton] the kind of happy and excited

[Rysuko] or something in it?

[Rysuko] ohh ok

[Rysuko] That would probably be from me and Angelus

[Rysuko]

[Rysuko] anything else?

[drewschkelton] tingle on my for arms the same sensation that I feel in the room

[Rysuko] you're doing good

[drewschkelton] forearm

[drewschkelton] did you enter?

[Rysuko] I am probably present at least to some degree

[Rysuko] I was thinking of the same place you're describing

[drewschkelton] cool ^^

[Rysuko] The tingling is probably a direct sensation of the energy present where you are

[Rysuko]

[Rysuko] Alright try focusing on me now

[Rysuko] and my presence

[Rysuko] I am there

[Rysuko] simply remain open, relaxed

[Rysuko] observant

[Rysuko] aware

[Rysuko] Now let me know do I feel closer or further away, and if anything else is felt share that too

[drewschkelton] I feel a sensation which I am trying to identify its like when you sneeze but cant sneeze

[drewschkelton] but at the back of my head

[Rysuko] hmm

[drewschkelton] but everytime I do it goes away and I have to restart

[Rysuko] Yea it takes some time to get used to, I notice that sensations or feelings tend to stop when you think about them

[drewschkelton] yeah

[drewschkelton] I get a good sense that you are waiting for me... obviously.. and for more responses about your presence

[Rysuko] Yep

[Rysuko] That would be true

[drewschkelton] your not a fire element are you?

[Rysuko] Hah

[Rysuko] If I had a choice I would say yes

[Rysuko] Fire's always been my favorite element

[Rysuko] Astrologically I'm a Leo

[drewschkelton] k cause after attaching pictures to what I felt after feeling you in the room I explore what you felt like through memorys and such

[drewschkelton] and you kinda were on fire

[Rysuko] Yea

[drewschkelton] chillin

[drewschkelton]

[Rysuko] Well my energy at the moment is probably fairly high

[Rysuko] I'm happy

[Angelus] sweet

[Rysuko] earlier I was a little jittery and I still am

[drewschkelton] before my first impulse was fire and I thought... no dont even imagine doing any harm...

[Rysuko] fire is a very excited form of energy

[Rysuko] nah it's alright, seeing fire and thinking of me burning are 2 seperate things

[drewschkelton] yeah I didnt see that

[drewschkelton]

[Rysuko]

[Rysuko] It's interesting though right now since we've been having a good time the room is a vibrant warm place, but it's effected by all things

[Rysuko] and at times you can feel it and tell when someone's been angry and stewing in it

[Rysuko] or if people were arguing

[Rysuko] or if we've all been depressed

[Rysuko] the energy levels are different and it rubs off on the room

[drewschkelton] its interesting, too bad I spent all this time caring for what I can physically do..

[Rysuko]

[Rysuko] yea it is a pretty neat thing

[Angelus]

[Rysuko] when it's practice you can normally get a general overall feel for people and places

[Angelus] somehow i doubt they are completly separate

[Rysuko] yea

[Rysuko] could be like mirror images

[Rysuko] mirrored*

[Rysuko] I think you did really well Drew

[drewschkelton] thanks Rysuko

[Rysuko] Would you like to give it another try Angelus?

[Angelus] i want to try something else if you guys are willing

[Rysuko] What's that?

[drewschkelton] im willing

[Angelus] it's almost the same

[Angelus] principals are the same

[Angelus] but you get to see through my eyes kinda

[Angelus] i am looking at a image

[Angelus] and i want to see if you can sense

[Angelus] what it makes me feel

[Angelus] what it is

[drewschkelton] hmm

[Rysuko] alright

[Rysuko] Not sure I could do that but I'm willing to give it a try

[Rysuko] lemme know when you're ready to start

[drewschkelton] have you already found a image?

[Angelus] yes i have

[drewschkelton] ok then I will post my previous response

[drewschkelton] going with the first thing I felt, was you looking up then down at a christmas card, or of a house with snow.

[Angelus] ry?

[Rysuko] Someone or something dear to you

[Rysuko] heartache

[Rysuko] to some degree

[Angelus] both spot on

[Angelus] john that was scary

[Angelus] drew

[Angelus] you rock

[Rysuko]

[Rysuko] Looks like we got Drew to feel again

[Angelus] i am standing looking outside

[Rysuko] hehe

[drewschkelton] no way! did I get it right?!

[Angelus] yup

[drewschkelton] fuck yeah!

[Angelus] most would concider this a postcard worthy view

[Angelus] and john

[Angelus] your right

[Angelus] i wrote i love you in the ice last year for someone who is no longer in my life

[Angelus] hence the heartache

[Rysuko] Aww

[Rysuko] Heh I did the same for Dusk last winter

[Angelus] but i thought i could hide that better:P

[Rysuko] well it was a little veiled

[Rysuko] like you felt more deeply about it than you let out

[Rysuko] that's why I said heartache to some degree

[Angelus] she will always be in my heart and thoughts i am starting to accept that

[Rysuko] acceptance is a powerful thing

[Angelus] yup

[Angelus] just easier to spell then to live

[Angelus] i love this view

[drewschkelton] man I have not felt this good about my mental abilities for... months!

[Rysuko]

[Angelus]

[drewschkelton] serious confidence booster...

[Rysuko] yep gotta have trust

[Rysuko] in what you feel

[Rysuko] in what you "can" feel

[drewschkelton] not been able to think correctly for months.. I thought that my mind was losing itself.. but it was still there! AHHH

[Rysuko]

[Angelus] i am just glad that even with my headache you guys can feel me

[drewschkelton] =D

[Angelus] ok up for the next challenge?

[Rysuko] Sure I'll give it another shot

[Rysuko] then I'ma fix myself some food

[Rysuko] hehe

[drewschkelton] yeah why not

[Angelus] sweet just did the same

[Rysuko]

[Angelus] ok i am going to try and direct energy to one of my hands

[Angelus] please try and feel which one

[Rysuko] alright

[Rysuko] left

[drewschkelton] yep

[Angelus] ok

[Angelus] that's it

[Rysuko] hah

[Angelus] you both rock

[Rysuko] awesome

[drewschkelton] for real man, awesome

[Angelus] but can you discribe the feeling ?

[drewschkelton] warmth

[Rysuko] just tingly

[drewschkelton] in the palm

[Rysuko] both my left hand and lower forearm tingled

[drewschkelton] I imagined myself as you and then I felt myself decide which one to pick

[Rysuko] like when a limb falls asleep

[drewschkelton] and then when you decided I felt it as warmth

[Rysuko] yea

[Angelus] yup

[Angelus] sorry was still playing with energy

[Angelus] i only started to be able to do that again yesterday

[Angelus] after i woke up from a weird nap

[drewschkelton] hehe

[Angelus] after a few days of being numb

[Angelus] to even energy

[Angelus] i must say i am relieved

[Angelus] and this feels great

[Angelus] it used to feel like my palms itched like mad

[Angelus] and then like the where on fire

[Angelus] and when i tried to pet my cats when my hands where like that they would not let me

[drewschkelton]

[Angelus] guys thank you

[Angelus] i feel awesome

[Rysuko]

[drewschkelton] hehe same here, very happy that I came in tonight

[Rysuko] me too

[Angelus] me 3

[drewschkelton] seriously guys, we should do this more often

[Rysuko] Yea

[Rysuko] Sure thing

[Angelus] how about we start small

[drewschkelton] I never get anyone to practice with and I really didnt trust the connection over the internet

[drewschkelton] but It works

[drewschkelton] imagine that

[drewschkelton]

[Angelus]

[Rysuko] yep

[Rysuko] "psychic abilities" seem to suggest there is a force in the universe that doesn't follow the laws of physics

[Rysuko] like a superceding law

[drewschkelton] yep

[Angelus] well it has been proven that we are working with 2 sets of physics

[Angelus] the general physics we are thought in school

[Angelus] and another set of physics that seems to be at least 200 years ahead of where we are

[Angelus] and seems to disprove many of what we believe to be facts

[Rysuko] metaphysics?

[Rysuko] or quantum physics

[Angelus] actualy

[Angelus] both

[Angelus] wow

[Angelus] december

[Angelus] art bell

[Angelus] one sec

[Angelus] let me see if i can get a link

[Angelus] and some more info

[Angelus] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gFy3a2zZ4GI

[Angelus] http://www.coasttocoastam.com/show/2009/11/29

[Angelus] wow finally this works

[Angelus]

[Angelus] guys

[Angelus] i am off for a while

[Angelus] take caer

[Angelus] care and let me know when we can do this again

User Angelus has logged out.

[drewschkelton] Rysuko you have awaked me again! I tried to sense what was going on in the room again and the atmosphere had changed but I didnt know to what. when I went in it felt fuzzy and drained

[drewschkelton] I thought that you were about to log out

[drewschkelton] but it was him

[Rysuko]

[drewschkelton] Rysuko, I am in your debt

[Rysuko] glad to be a help

[drewschkelton] seriously

[drewschkelton] anything that you need, just ask

[drewschkelton] thats good forever... no matter what..

[drewschkelton] hopefully you use it in this lifetime so that I dont have to do something rediculous in the afterlife for you

[Rysuko]

[drewschkelton] because it shall be done

[drewschkelton] I am truly grateful

[Rysuko] like I said just glad to be a help

[Rysuko] I'm happy for you

[drewschkelton] ^^

[drewschkelton] thanks Rysuko

[Rysuko]

[Rysuko] anytime

[drewschkelton] well buddy

[drewschkelton] Im gonna have to head off to bed

[drewschkelton] hopefully tomarrow will be just as productve as this one

[drewschkelton] or today..

[drewschkelton] i mean

[Rysuko] alright sounds good

[Rysuko] I'll check in tomorrow

[drewschkelton] yep I shall as well

[drewschkelton] take care Rysuko

[Rysuko] You too

[Rysuko] See you then

User Rysuko has logged out.

11:39 PM [Rysuko]

11:39 PM [Rysuko] thanks I'll try that

11:40 PM [Angelus] wow

11:40 PM [Rysuko] observations were also made by others as to what I or someone else would do in these places

11:40 PM [Rysuko] the chat

11:40 PM [Rysuko] some created place

11:40 PM [Rysuko] or wherever

11:40 PM [Rysuko] that were spot on

11:40 PM [Rysuko] not always, but some definately were

11:40 PM [Angelus] sweet

11:40 PM [Rysuko] so that adds to the credibility to me personally, that there is at least something to it

11:41 PM [Rysuko] I can have doubts or fears or whatever, but at the least I just share what I myself experienced

11:42 PM [Rysuko] anyway sorry to hog the stage, anyone got questions/comments experiences to share?

11:42 PM [Angelus] dude

11:42 PM [Angelus] with a story like that

11:42 PM [Angelus] hog any day

11:42 PM [Angelus] any time

11:42 PM [drewschkelton] ^^

11:42 PM [Rysuko]

11:42 PM [Angelus] that was awesome

11:43 PM [drewschkelton] inspired me to try it again

11:43 PM [Angelus] same here

11:43 PM [Angelus] just no clue how to begin anymore

11:43 PM [drewschkelton] I did it a week ago, but this was done in a much lower intensity

11:43 PM [Rysuko] basically drew, doubting is fine, but you also have to be able to fully relax and open up to all possibility in order to see if something is legitimate for yourself

11:43 PM [Rysuko] the senses can be very subtle

11:44 PM [Rysuko] and it's those subtle details you have to be able to recieve

11:44 PM [Rysuko] I imagine it's a developed skill like anything else

11:44 PM [drewschkelton] it is a very developed skill

11:44 PM [Rysuko] yea

11:44 PM [drewschkelton] very advanced

11:45 PM [Rysuko] it also led me to speculate

11:45 PM [Rysuko] if everything has its equivalent in that plane.. well that means everything

11:45 PM [Rysuko] every building has an imprint

11:45 PM [Rysuko] every object

11:45 PM [Rysuko] physical place

11:45 PM [Rysuko] every thought ever thought can reside there

11:45 PM [Rysuko] and if it was powerful, it can reside a long time

11:45 PM [Rysuko] every dark fantasy

11:46 PM [Rysuko] or dreamt of place

11:46 PM [Rysuko] every emotion

11:46 PM [Rysuko] or chemical

11:46 PM [Rysuko] it's all there

11:46 PM [Rysuko] and it seemed like through that medium you could connect to, or at least observe other people

11:47 PM [Rysuko] and normally when it worked that would give me a sense of their well-being

11:47 PM [Rysuko] the feel of them

11:47 PM [Rysuko] overall

11:47 PM [Rysuko] emotions

11:47 PM [Rysuko] thoughts and focus

11:47 PM [Rysuko] like empathy

11:47 PM [drewschkelton] yep

11:48 PM [Rysuko] kinda like I tried it just now and felt like 2 of you were fascinated and with your attention moreso here

11:48 PM [Rysuko] but 1 was interested and was holding something back

11:48 PM [Rysuko] or more drawing inward

11:48 PM [Rysuko] like their own experience, or introspective

11:49 PM [Rysuko] couldn't tell which

11:49 PM [Rysuko] Drew?

11:49 PM [drewschkelton] HA

11:49 PM [drewschkelton] right on ^^

11:49 PM [Rysuko]

11:49 PM [drewschkelton] I was going to share my experience by coppying what I wrote on my blogger

11:50 PM [Rysuko] Alright go ahead

11:50 PM [drewschkelton] but it was more of just a note to myself and didnt include many details

11:50 PM [Rysuko] ah

11:50 PM [drewschkelton] so would rather listen to you then say

11:50 PM [drewschkelton] =P

11:50 PM [Rysuko] Oh, alright

11:51 PM [Rysuko] well I can try to describe what I just felt

11:51 PM [Angelus] please do

11:51 PM [Rysuko] first, since I'm feeling kinda jittery atm, not sure why

11:51 PM [Rysuko] I had to relax and calm down

11:52 PM [Rysuko] just closed my eyes, cleared my mind, observed my own thoughts/feelings so I could tell the difference between myself and whatever else

11:52 PM [Rysuko] then when I did, I just took my focus to the room and you guys as a group

11:52 PM [Rysuko] kinda quickly scanned

11:52 PM [Rysuko] I could feel your guys focus and where it was aiming

11:53 PM [Rysuko] which was here mostly, but the difference stuck out, one was um..

11:53 PM [Rysuko] it's almost like the feeling you get from someone if they're like

11:53 PM [Rysuko] Aha! I have something to show you, let me just go grab it from the room in the back

11:53 PM [Rysuko] and they go there

11:54 PM [Rysuko] felt like he was directing inwards towards an inner object

11:54 PM [Rysuko] like a particular thought, question or experience

11:54 PM [Rysuko] his feeling was more inside than the other 2 felt

11:54 PM [Rysuko] then when you asked

11:54 PM [Rysuko] I looked at your guys names one at a time on the list on the page

11:54 PM [Rysuko] and gathered a feel for each

11:55 PM [Rysuko] Drew was the one that stuck out same as the general scan

11:55 PM [Rysuko] I checked Ice just incase

11:55 PM [Rysuko] there was some ponderings going on, but still majority of attention here

11:56 PM [Rysuko] it's a subtle simple concept

11:56 PM [Rysuko] it's like when you have a friend over to hang out

11:56 PM [Rysuko] they come in and you're instantly in a better mood

11:56 PM [Rysuko] about the same

11:56 PM [Rysuko] or worst

11:56 PM [Rysuko] at least inside

11:56 PM [Rysuko] they give off a vibe

11:56 PM [Rysuko] the direct one is subtle

11:56 PM [Rysuko] you also get it from their words, gestures etc

11:57 PM [Rysuko] tones

11:57 PM [Rysuko] but you just take that same concept, like a vibe, a feel for a person

11:57 PM [Rysuko] and just open up to that

11:57 PM [Rysuko] how does this person feel?

11:58 PM [Rysuko] if you're not used to it, (not claiming I am, just sayin) then your minds first reaction will be to analyze

11:58 PM [Rysuko] to describe

11:58 PM [Rysuko] characteristics

11:58 PM [Rysuko] personal opinions

11:58 PM [Rysuko] what you "think" about them

11:58 PM [Rysuko] you have to seperate that

11:58 PM [Rysuko] or just to invent ideas

11:58 PM [Rysuko] which does happen

11:58 PM [Rysuko] it's not bad, so don't shun yourself over guessing and being wrong

11:59 PM [Rysuko] just take it and be like "ok, now that time it was my mind"

11:59 PM [Rysuko] and use it to your advantage

11:59 PM [Rysuko] the more that happens the easier it becomes to recognize your mind vs just being receptive

12:00 AM [Rysuko] it's like thought is an empty plate, and your mind normally fills it up

12:00 AM [Rysuko] but if you can take everything off the plate, it can become its own medium for new things to settle

12:00 AM [Rysuko] or enter

12:01 AM [Rysuko] of which you can observe

12:01 AM [Rysuko] or feel

12:02 AM [Rysuko] Heh another way I had to describe it is like

12:02 AM [Rysuko] take a memory, for example of an old house you used to live in, or a place you've been to a lot

12:02 AM [Rysuko] You can probably literally visualize yourself walking through it like a 3d model

12:02 AM [Rysuko] on a computer

12:02 AM [Rysuko] every corner, normal objects

12:02 AM [Rysuko] benches

12:02 AM [Rysuko] rooms

12:02 AM [Rysuko] etc

12:02 AM [Rysuko] the placement of everything

12:02 AM [Rysuko] that's good practice

12:02 AM [Rysuko] just exploring the past in your mind

12:03 AM [Rysuko] in a way, you really are there

12:03 AM [Rysuko] just by the projecting of where you want to be, or the thought of running, walking, floating

12:04 AM [Rysuko] or if you've got a friend that shares a memory of a place you'd always go to, could probly make a game of it

12:04 AM [Rysuko] like remember that place? let's think of that

12:04 AM [Rysuko] I'm in this room, remember the way this looked?

12:04 AM [Rysuko] then their focus goes to that room too

12:04 AM [Rysuko] and so a part of their presence

12:05 AM [Rysuko] and when they stop thinking of that, see if you can feel it

12:05 AM [Rysuko] and feel their presence/focus leave