anwsers

correct and also incorrect.
we are the happening but how do you think we came into existance?
there are no mistakes or coincedences, only happenings, all else is based on our perceptions of existance. perception is created by logic in our brain combined with sensory brain matter. language spreads the opinion of logic and is based on all those before us. so today was already written into time when the creator decided to influence existance. what would happen if electricity was not invented, wouldnt something else take its place for importance in the house at the current frame of time. would you even exist? people use theators, cars, etc to initiate intimacy ( love), but under those circumstances
people have lost their ability to express themselfs freely. people aspire to the status of movie heros and their traits because they have a strength that they themself cant muster on their own. they act like these people they wish to be without using their own interest, willpower, wisdom, and life. they lose the lessons the characters they aspire to be and become ignorant and wrong in their judgment as it is not their own but a facade of their need to be. they stay as children and never learn. these people are runnin our countrys, our fathers, mothers, friends, family, bankers, teachers, so on. this new generation has been able to see through their facade to what it really is through their introspection of life( how it was, how it is, how it should be, and how they want it to be.


therefore under those circumstances we are simply a product of our enviroment.
once you realize the meaning of life, what it means, and what it opens to you, you control your own destiny. but if that introspection is a product of the enviroment then you actually had no choice in finding out the meaning of life.

this realization is a very dismal one and breaks hope and faith and test your willpower to go on and seize the day.

but there is one thing that makes the definition of the meaning of life incomplete.

Love.

Doubt is the root of all evil.

im trying not to tell the Exact meaning of life because if you do not discover it yourself the wisdom of it never becomes a part of you but something simply dictated. so I try to lead people in their thinking in order to get the desired results...... Socratic method. Ive never studied it because I had been using it without knowledge to its power.

so this is not complete at all and I hope you will fill in the blanks.



love itself is not a human characteristic but is divine.
what makes someone sacrifice their life for the life of a innocent?
what would happen if they didnt?

simply put the influence of unconditional love puts potential energy to express the willpower/love of the protagonist in all those around them and those who have been effected by it. we are not set here to make people not sin and love everyone. we take all the potential energy of mankinds love and express it in all we do to change the world. but the light and dark thing is very important and WILL happen as not everyone is pure of soul but wants to be without sacrifice of their own will.

they are the deceivers. we are the messengers of god. no matter what, unless there was some total annihilation of earth and all its documents and such that the willpower of our generation will live on. just as jesus died for our sins we are doing the same. it is up to you to seize the day and decide if you would rather be for the greater good of humanity or if you would like to sin, be happy, and be safe. thats what sin is. it keeps us in cycles. once you break the cycle( which you only can through unconditional love and hope in a better situation and something that hasnt yet come to be but you know it to be true in your heart.


take this example. look at the Colorado river through time water has been able to cut its way into the rock and create a magnificent canyon.

think of will power as a rock, and the willpower and influence of the world and others as water.

the rock in the streams will power is absolute. nothing can sway its will. so it is a diamond, time cannot even distort its will.

if it is not stable you can crack it with the right leverage, temperature fluxuations, and stress. but if there are no weakpoints it remains timeless.

but what If the diamond doubts that it can be a diamond? it becomes weak and even if it still is solid and looks like a diamond it is not.
its gradually weakens overtime and is not stable anymore and can be cracked and frayed easier.
the rock sees that it can be damaged and says that it has been mistaken, for it is not a diamond but just a rock, these things happen to rocks so it must be so. if it were a diamond nothing would be able to damage it.
now it is a rock and the waters around it now erode it. slowly but surely. the rock says alas for I am a rock and this is how it must be, for a rock cannot be a rock and a diamond. it accepts its fate and is slowly turned into dust becoming part of the river never to be a rock or a diamond but sand. its grit will continue to wear on all the rocks that the river flows over until it get caught behind a current or another rock, over time it is covered by other rocks and is lost in the canyon forever. but now its not sand, it is the canyon, the waters that have made the canyon are now forced to follow the grove of the canyons contour. the water will forever cut into the canyon but now it is not free as its currents are now dictated by the very thing it created.

but what would have happend if the rock was able to decide where the currents dragged it? what if it decided to block the flow of water to stop the corrosion of another rock. therefore changing the fate of the rocks that it has protected and all the other rocks that the protected ones protect in the future. mabye in time the rock says enough! I might be a rock but I will not simply watch as my brothers dissolve into the river forgotten by time. I will protect my brothers(rock buddies hehe) so that they may forever stay the way they are. because I must do this I must become a diamond but even if I am not a diamond I will still protect my brothers.

now the rock becomes a controller of its own destiny and pathes the direction of the current therefore changing the dirrection of the waters.

if you get it so far you can guess the ending and how willpower, love and sacrifice shape the future but in the end there still will be a canyon unless the water is moved out of the way by the sacrifice of some brave rocks =D hey I like to philosophize but its depressing if you think about people being slaughtered for the greater good but even then then unless the water is cast out your children will have to deal with the flow of water and sacrifice themselfs for the greater good.

thats the meaning of sin, how it creates cycles and unless you break it and dont sin you cannot break the cycle of hate. evolution is not going to be easy and just happen you have to be active and trying to better yourself and others but you cannot force them. think of god. when people pray to god for something does god give them what they want? or does he give them the means to get what they want theirselves? you can get something you want from someone by killing them but all it does it enable the cycle and you will never be satisfied with the one killing because its so easy just to take then to learn how to make, receive, or negotiate.

but when you take the chance to learn and better yourself without sinning you become stronger and then when the same problem arises it is not a problem but just another situation that needs to be handled.



im pretty A.D.D and dyslexic so sorry if I repeated myself.


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this was a reply to a indigo group.

so yesterday my head was telling me not to go to this other thrift store. that I was wasting my time. but i knew I needed something from there. I found everything I needed. but my head was telling me I was wasting time and that I needed to get home.
well I thought to myself, I wont dilly daddle and I will get home on time. well 30 min later I had a box full of stuff. but when I tried to buy it they would not accept my credit card. I had to wait another 15 min but they still wouldnt take it so I left empty handed. I began to question the will in my head that drives me to other thoughts after watching the movie a beautiful mind. he is just like me but I dont see people. its sad how long it took him to learn how to master his new found knowledge. he was tapping into the wavelengths of the universe. god. its very hard to believe anything when you base your knowledge and self on the omnipresent voice that guides you. the world anchors you down but your thoughts tear you apart. you become unstable. but if you achknoledge the sighns but find proof with real world anchors and be humble but still be able to crack the wip and stop the voices when you command. its really fucking challenging. thats what ive been going through the past few days. the feelings that I get guide me completely to answers that I would have not found if I only followed my own physical will.

when you see that its right its hard to elimintate them and work on your own. you become addicted like a drug. you lose faith in yourself and you turn to them but you must believe that everything happens for a purpose and if so you can make any desicion without hesitation because you know thats how it was supposed to be and you free yourself and the will that used to guide you becomes you but you push it away while still keeping the notions that it carrys.
dissobay them with logic and reasoning and say I have to live my own life sorry give me time to recooperate.

Ive been able to block them off whenever I want to but they usually get out everything that should be said in less than .25 sec. its like the thoughts behind your thoughts when you think of what you are thinking about and what to say and why and what others think. but then you go and actually SAY in your native language what you are thinking and saying. its complicated. its listening to the subcouncious thoughts behind all thoughts.

so even when I cut them off I still get a hint of what they say. I can block out the meaning but once it comes to materialize I remember everything.


the gift of knowledge god gives is not meant for the uneducated masses. it will tear your soul apart unless you master it.

I wish I could talk to that guy in the movie. we would have such a fascinating conversation.

the paradoxical life I see now is beautiful, mystifying, dangerous, confusing, twisted, cold, loving, caring, forgiving, eternal, free, unchanging,
I thought I knew it all but now Im so far down the rabbit hole I cant get out without tearing soul apart. the part of me that has been reborn is going down the rabbit hole but with every step down I regret the surface and the bliss of unknowing and part of me trys to climb back up. but the other climbs down and I become stretched and incomplete.

brutal assault of knowledge part 1

what a week. I seem to be saying this every time one ends...
my brain is mush right now. but the thing is that my sense have increased by atleast 2.5x I dont wanna say 3 but its very close.
I was so physically and mental exhausted from a very spiritual and... tragic day.. any ways back to how the day went later mabye..
I did not eat for 2 days. I wanted to have a real meal but couldnt muster up the will to clean,cook, and prepare. ( I take my food seriously, if I eat fatty foods my senses go out and I cant think correctly and I get stinging feelings on my skin and my allergies act up, I can only eat fresh food but I am opposed to killing animals for food that people now take for granted so I try to honor my food, I think about where it came from and what it took for it to come from the wild to my selection and the thought of where it could be if I had not of picked it up for myself. or if I had taken another.
but the fact still that with all the history that it took to create the food on my plate would it be fair for me to just throw it in the microwave or with some ramen and prepair it without thought to its life. for me to discard its history because it is just food and it is something that people have to eat to live. but you dont have to eat. you could starve yourself. but you dont because your life is more important that where the food came from. so to people food and a person are uncompairable. but they are not they are one and the same and to view yourself as above that is ignorant and wrong and a crime for total disregard for life. this is just one part I also imagine the history that led to how the food was created, how the business came into existance, how the person was motivated to make the business and how the meaning of distributing food has changed with the way the world economy has changed the world. how I feel sorry that their life was taken and that mabye if I hadnt choosen this particular piece of food out of the many that it might have been discarded because it was past its experation date. how its life isnt seen as a life but mearely food. its sick and cruel and I feel privaledge and humble to take part of its flesh. that It may live on in me, that it may fuel my body and heighten my senses. that its life was ended cruely but not vainfully because my life is not to be lived in vain because I will succeed in my misison and that with its unwilling sacrifice it will help me stop the same cruelty to happening to others.
yeah thats how my mind works. every single action judged, everything exist with meaning,there are no coincedences, I have to investigate all of it. )

but I was willed to get up and clean and to spend the day making my food and to not worry of any spiritual work or work at all. so I cooked and I did would not eat anything until I had finished. but I was starving and I couldnt think straight. I was weak from the huge loss of energy the day before. so I got out some strawberrys that I just bought. the strawberry inside was as big as my fist closed up tightly. the biggest one Ive ever seen. I might take a picture. its that big. hahah anyways I didnt want to spoil my appitite because my innervoice said to not eat and be glutunous. but I insisted that I needed the strength to eat and I grabbed the smallest one but was perfect.
I took one bite.

its flavor exploded into all my sensations, the texture of it. its temperature and density. perfect!
sweet beyond belief. the sweetness spread from my mouth through my body. I could feel the flavor in my fingers, toes, back, noise, skin, back, it was a total body sensation. time seemed to slow down. it was the most delicious fruit I have ever had in my life. no bs.

it tickled the back of my hair, inside my brain, it tensed up my nose and I felt almost like I could sneeze.

I was in total disbelief.
( I philosophised how it tasted so sweet but was in such a small portion when I was so hungery but I did not want to eat anymore because I wanted the same sensation when I ate the food that I was prepairing.)


I love all the simple things. they seem so insignifigant but there is so much going on.