dazed and confused.... again

im having trouble placing my thoughts.
Im a intelligent guy,
I know im not dumb
but im not the smartest or the cleverest
im fucking up big time.

im ashamed at my lack of enthusiasm and moral courage in this time of need.
sure, the seeds have been sown where in the event of a global disaster I can fix the planet but I want to fix it right now.
and IF the planet goes downhill even if I have the knowledge, I lack the resources necessary to procure instruments in order to do so.

im all tangled up inside. Im not doing what I really want to do, and Im not pursuing goals that Ive set.