Thursday, January 14, 2010

my numberology senses are tingling

ok on numerous occasions this guy has called on astrological times.. or when I needed someone to talk to he has been there.. not for me but when I needed someone he called... kinda like fate..

anyways we are not having the best relationship... mostly on my part... but on his because he makes me feel like i am being interogated.
i'm glad to hear from you but frustrated that i can never meet or at least talk/fone with you.... and doesn't seem that we are making any progress

1/11/10 at 6:54 PM


rats...


a new word that I learned..

Limerence


Ive harbored this emotion for a very long time. I had limerence of love that I dont beleive exist in this world... so I thought to myself... I would get off this rock and find it... I knew it exist.. I just need to get there.. I have the knowledge to actually do it some day... but for now its out of reach..
but I still organized myself towards this goal while in actuality I should have pursued a love life closer to earth..

now that I am reading about this emotion I am better able to identify and fix this problem. there is nothing wrong with intense emotions, but when they become unreasonable and stop you from acheiving and even doing things in life is where it becomes a problem.



I woke this morning with vigor and resolve. took a hot shower then put in on cold and cooled my body down. It gave me a great energy boost. before I went to sleep I took my meds and vitamins and now my body is ready to work and think.
Ive been regaining my motivation for life and over the past few days Ive been growing into a adult that wants to live his life by his rules.
im sad that I am not out saving the world lol, but I put so much expectations on myself that I began to shut down.
I need to go to college and get a good education. I need to make lots of money. I want the finer things in life. I still want to help and make a difference in the world but atm I want all that life has to offer. Ive always had a expensive taste.. its time I found a way to support my habbit of buying what I cannot afford.

my dad has been asking me to look for a car.. I cant get a license or anything.. and cars have never been on my mind.. there has been very few cars that have caught my attention.
I found the car that I want..
I want a Lamborghini

....

yeah I know... expensive... definitely not a first car but I will not be satisfied until I own one.
their symbol is of my favorite power animal. I love bulls. infatuated with them and mythology of them.

I love the contour and power that lamborghini expresses in their vehicles

when I see a lamborghini I am pretty much turned on by how it looks. I imagine the contour of air around it as it speeds off. lamborghini has continually made cars of which I can personify as myself.

people say that guys buy expensive cars cause they are making up for their penis size or something... no this car would be only for myself... I like to use things that make me smile.. Im well endowed and I think I look fabulous.