a realization

I was talking to another energy worker and talking about moving energy and feeling everything and knowing . she said she visualized and asked if I could visualize because we saw things differently, mine was like echolocation that knew of all the imprints of something but not the picture of it, hers was seeing like a movie.

so we said to visualize my happy place...
something hit me in my throught and chest. I did not understand but had a feeling of horror
...
.
.
...
.

I did not have a happy place. nothing at all.
my happiness is with people and the love between us.
but I have nobody except the people that I loved enough to let go
I am without.