Hello,

I wanted to give oprah a email but really all It would do is ask for oprah to help me when I get everything together.. my research that is.

right now Im having a hard time finding a voice or even a ear to help me out and listen. Ive undergone a spiritual transformation in the past year.

I dont want to tell my whole story but some parts are important to understand where I am coming from.

I am a young 17 year old man, 18 in march. I have the means to change the world for the better. fixing the human condition, merging spirituality and science in a way that can logically explain all religions, promote love as a means of change and inventions and a new theory of our science which will revolutionize the world. the thing is.. I dont have a highschool education and I want to get a Ged and a job but my own country wont even recognize me as a citizen even though legally I am. Ive been trying to get a S.S. for 12 years along with a passport. I am litterally imprisoned in my own country by our bureaucracy which I want to help. Im patriotic but im losing hope in my own country.

I was going to be a fighter pilot for the navy. there were a few problems though, I could not concentrate in school (smart but not always there) persistent vision distortions, seeing things, inhability to stay asleep, tremors, depression, bi-polar, add. at 13 the psychiatric perscribed me to every medication possible (adderol, zyprexa, abilify, prozac, trazadone, ambien,serequel. etc) they would literally put me on a new medicine each week to diagnose what I had... after about 4-6 months of switching medications, being on uppers during the day, downers at night and kept on antidepresents everyday nothing really worked. after testing they found that my heart had a heart murmor (now my heart has a persistant rate change and hickups). they did lots of test on me and kept me on medicine switching me from doctor to doctor. they told me that I should stop all physical activity cause they didnt know how my heart would react.

a few months later I could not go to school anymore. I was dying and could feel myself getting weaker everyday to the point where I could'nt even open a gatorade bottle.after being sent to multiple doctors and watching them look at me and my charts in horror they decided to do a cat scan on me. They found a inoperable cyst on right side of my brain where the vision and area where seizures come from. they told me there was nothing that they would want to do at the time and said to come in in 6 months to see if the cyst had grown. I was uterly depressed and lost all my motivation for life.. my condition got really bad and I couldnt even standup without my vision blacking out with my body lossing control.I stopped going to school entirely and stopped hanging out with friends, I had lost connection with daily life being in such a horrid state of depression.I had developed pulvinary respitory syndrom. a year later I lost sensation to parts of my body and could only feel very extreme hot or colds. by this time I had stopped all my medication.

I gained my will to live through love, learning, amazment of the world, wish to bring others happiness, and friendship to those whom I never say their face. I had so much that I wanted to do because I had seen so much that the world had to offer, by offer I dont mean products or technology but the beauty of the planet, people, food, culture, spirituality and love. I wanted to travel the world and learn of others cultures and traditions. I wanted to open a restraunt and make food that would inspire emotions in people because of the chemistry it had on the brain along with aestetic taste. I wanted to make people happy because to me there was no reason to suffer.

I began healing myself with food and willpower to live. I empowered myself and strived to achieve anything that I desired, opening me to every possibility and new opportunity.

during the 4 years of solitude I learned to think not in words but emotions and will. its a unique perspective and let me be open to lots of new knowledge. everything in my life had meaning and I saw it in the world. I saw truth, how things worked and moved. I absorbed all the information I could get my hands on. everything became recorded in my mind and I knew how they related to other subjects. Honestly my way of thinking was so extreme and effective that I cannot exactly recall that type of thinking process even though I posses it now. at the time it was hard for me to even speak properly since I had gone months without speaking.

during those 4 years I had put myself in a state of meditation which I myself did not recognize. I was able to reason what god and spirituality really were. I went on to see if what I beleived god was could be rationalized into the mechanics of the universe. I discovered something that set me on the path were I am today.

I beleive god to be consciousness. not as some man/woman who dictates who and what does what. we are not ruled by god but rather we are part of god's consciousness in a lower perspective. we are all god but because we cannot envision to totality of existence we are not but rather a creation of the infinite conscious mind. this consciousness is a spark from the wave duality of nature.

this realization of consciousness and perception in life is what leads us to be resurrected in other dimensions which reflect our karmic balance which we create through our saying of YES or NO.

god being pure energy spread out in rays of frequency in the shape of a sphere. these layers of frequency started out simple and through resonance and harmony of different layers more are produced. this growth as I have so far deduced is in form of PHI. we have proof of this creative design in everything from the smallest seashell, dna, flowers, trees, bones, to the great spiral galaxies which all reflect this mathematical equation.

anything that does not allow growth could be called sin, in religion the prophets Identify sin and actions which damn our soul to hell.. but we create our own hell and heaven through what we desire. such with a rich man can have everything and still not be happy but a poor man can have nothing but still have his happiness... not a good example I know.. but you know what I mean.

when we steal we still get what we want but when we want it again the idea always replays in our mind that it is easier and quicker to steal. if you get caught you are condemed and your life changes, usually in a negative maner. but if we decide to earn instead of steal, then the things that we want are easier to achieve because we know how to do so, now instead of having to steal because we dont have the capacity to sustain without stealing, we gained the ability to try new things because we dont have to strive to survive.

now existence works in cycles.. so it can be said that we live in a cycle of sin.. but life is divine because it always has growth.

when we die our consciousness does not. it just loses the physical body that host it. until the physical condition arise where your soul can come back into existence you will remain in what we call heaven (god). but there are a unlimeted amount of possibilitys that are available..

in the middle is pure consciousness of all possibilities(god). when you are dying your souls resonance is reverberating into the heaven and so you see a white light. if you dont see this white light then you have not fulfilled your life by choosing no to growth and so you resurect in the same type of enviroment where your soul can take host of a body. this happens when someone is take from the womb. with the first influence of what enviroment you are in a soul takes root because of the frequency reverberations of the surounding celestial bodys and placement on your own celestial body. just like how light going through rain drops makes a rainbow because of the different angles and speeds of that frequency. its the same concept with how astrology works. our brain constructs itself on these electrical impulses which are triggered by these types of frequencys and allignment.