to the futrue

it is thurday 11;30 pm ..
as I sit here watching who's line is it anyways fat from hot cocoa donuts and cookies.. high and relieved of almost all my pain with my current pills from my wisdome teeth surgery..
I Have everything...
It feels like a unique cornerstone of my life.
I wonder .. how long can this last? what will the future bring?
will everything just get better and I will not even have to do a thing?
or are these days of full bellys coming to a end?
I want to do so much.. but all I do in the end is eat.. eat because I cannot do anything else and I crave for life..
I cannot say I despair even though I do ... I have it all so to speak.. memories of extrordinary events.. of having a purpose and chosing not to ... or atleast not at the moment..

..I feel something about may ... I dont like it..